I’m Alive….

I’m alive… well technically lets just say that I have somehow managed to crawl my way out of the sleep deprived state I have been in for the last eight weeks. Our new bundle of joy is two months old today and boy has it been an exhausting journey. Although this is baby number two for us, boy number one or Thing 1 as I like to call him, was a completely different newborn than boy number two, Thing 2.

We thought we knew what we were getting ourselves into.  We said we always wanted T1 to have a sibling and although it was more work for us, mainly me with the whole 40 weeks of pregnancy thing, we thought it would be the greatest gift we could ever give T1. Especially later in life, when they are in high school, navigating their way through college and eventually growing into adults.

Pregnancy with both our sons was fairly easy; I had my share of complications and specialists but at the end of all that we were blessed with two beautiful healthy boys.  That’s where the similarities end.  T2 has been a whole other ball game since he was born, starting with his delivery and eagerness to arrive! His birth story deserves its own blog; so I can fully express and describe my naiveté of how I though it would happen. Since bringing T2 home we have had quite the challenge of figuring him out.  Oh what I would do if someone could uncover the science so babies could talk!

There were many days and nights where he cried for hours, contorting his body as if in pain or discomfort and I had no clue what to do to help.  I didn’t notice right away that it may even be pain or discomfort I was too busy trying not to become a raging hormonal bi*&^ every time I couldn’t get him to stop crying.  I swear in the first few weeks of life at home there were many times I wanted to bundle him up and lay him down in the middle of the lawn in the back yard so I could get at least five minutes of peace and quite.  Why the back lawn?

Well its simple, we live in a fairly average size home, three bedrooms, around eighteen hundred square feet, one story and that means there is not any place in my home where he can lay and cry that I would not hear him.

So during the darkest longest days of my life to date the backyard lawn seemed like a great safe place. Although I never acted on that thought and my husband looked at me as if I had gone mad when I suggested it to him one night as he paced back and forth trying to comfort our inconsolable child. That’s when I decided I needed to take some action and use the ever trusty internet to do some research to figure this kid out since he had no way of telling us what the hell was wrong with him.  Of course I had no clue what I was researching, but google “constant newborn crying” and it comes up with hundreds of different problems and solutions, some interesting and helpful others… uh not so much. At first I was completely put off by all the forums and websites offering a myriad of people giving their experiences and solutions and just quit. I quit trying to figure it out, trying to get my baby to stop crying; maybe he is just a crier… some babies are.

Hey I was coming to terms with my difficult crying baby, I wasn’t happy he wasn’t happy, eh not that big of deal right? Well as I was getting frustrated I was taking it out not only on my husband but T1 and boy did he hate it when T2 cried.

So I began to listen and watch T2, trying to decipher and unlock the mystery behind his cries.  I kept a log, when he ate, peed, popped, and slept hoping that I could figure him out. And I did!!! Or so I thought.  I noticed he was the most uncomfortable after eating; he would often throw his head back and kick out his legs as I was trying to burp him all while screaming his pretty little head off.  I would hear him burp and hear the milk coming back up as if to spit up only to have him gulp it back down and scream again.  I had no clue what this was.

Then I started to really pay attention, I noticed my newborn son never spit up.  Most babies spit up at least a tiny bit after eating, just some leftover milk that may come back up while they burp no big thing. As a parent you learn your receiving blanket is your best friend and as a nursing mom I always carry an extra shirt… with a two-year and old and a newborn I never know what crap will land on me. So I noticed T2 wasn’t spitting up, jotted that down in my little log and went back to my little computer and researched that.

Armed with some handy information about infant reflux and my baby log we arrived at our one-month check up with lots of information to share with the doc.

Being a second time mommy I feel like I was able to better understand and figure out my newborn.  Had my first son not been a dream baby with little crying and no problems till three months of age I don’t think I would have been as confident or competent to try to look further into the constant crying.  If I was a new mom, I don’t think I would have known where to began and even being a second time mommy I still felt overwhelmed and unsure of myself during those first few weeks.

Not only was I more confident in myself the second time around but also I was more confident in speaking to the doctor and not ashamed or embarrassed to feel as if I was just an overprotective paranoid mom.  Our doctor has also been very open that us parents may just know a thing or two more than they do when it comes to our kids. So I explained everything, the long nights, the inconsolable crying, the weird gulping, the lack of spit up and my diagnosis of the problem being some sort of reflux problem and….. lo and behold after her thorough exam of T2 the lovely doc agreed with me!!!

He was diagnosed with GERD and given a prescription. I was excited, I thought in a few days he will be cured of this constant crying and we will have a happy baby who sleeps and eats when he should and be content. Hahahahahahahahahaha does it ever happen like that?? Probably not, but there I was being naïve again thinking I had it figured it out and solved… nope not yet.


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